I Have Zits.

I have zits.

You would think by age 50+ that your face would quit producing oil and pimples, but NOOOOOO!

I'm pretty well sick of it.  At least I can wear makeup to cover it up or I'd be depressed every time I looked in a mirror.  Yes, I enjoy being a girl -- makeup is my friend.

NOTE:  You'd enjoy me being a girl too if you had to look at my zits all day.

My complaining makes me think about a story I heard last Sunday from our minister at Highland Park United Methodist Church, Paul Rasmussen.  Paul is our top dog at HPUMC and he is our usual preacher at the service where I'm an usher.  Anyway, Paul told a story about being late for a meeting at the church.  He was running a little late and then when he got to the church he had to drive around and round looking for a parking space.  This caused him to get more and more frustrated and mad.  He was fuming when he got up to his office where his appointment was waiting.

NOTE:  The following quotes are paraphrased by me -- I do not take dictation during church -- only a rare glance at the i-phone on occasion.  I never said I was a saint.  Saints don't have zits.

As any of us would, Paul dashed in and started apologizing -- "I'm so sorry I was late.  I've been driving around and around the parking lot trying to find a space.  I bet you even had trouble finding one.  It is just awful here with parking.  I'm really sorry that it is so bad here."

The man waiting for him said, "Gosh, you're really mad about this aren't you?  Well, you don't know what I would give to have a parking lot full of people who wanted to come to my church.  You can't imagine what I'd give to be feet away from a vital college campus like SMU.  Instead, I drive up to an empty parking lot.  That's why I'm here -- I want to get advice from you on how to grow my church into one where we will be flourishing like you."

So, while I'm not accepting these zits enough to show them off, it did make me think about how much better I have it than most people in the world.

What would the kids we help at Community Partners of Dallas give to be your child or mine?

How much would they love being part of a family?  Having siblings who live with them?  Having a dad to shoot some hoops with?  A mom who would tuck them in at night?

I lived a blessed life.  A zit or five is easy.

Christmas Eve Gift! I Got You!

If you know what the title of this post means, then you've known me for a very long time.

Our family plays this game and has forever.  It is supposedly a throwback from long ago -- the basic idea is that if you are the first one to say to someone "Christmas gift!", then they are supposed to give you a gift.  I believe that it was originally played on Christmas Day only, but our family plays it for every holiday, including Christmas Eve, birthdays, Valentine's, Martin Luther King Day, etc.  We have never followed through with the gift giving part -- the first person to say it just gets the pleasure of winning and lording it over everyone.  

My personal favorite is when you can catch someone totally off guard and say "Oh, John?"  Him:  "What?"  "I just wanted to say Christmas Eve Gift!"  This is naturally followed by lots of disgust and drama, etc.  It's tons of fun to win.

I like to win.

The downside of this game is that on holidays we don't call one another because the other person will invariably answer the phone "Christmas Eve Gift" and then they got you.  In the pre-caller ID days, we would answer every call this way, so then explaining went along with the game, which is why lots of my friends play the game with us too.  Joe particularly likes to get my mom.  Let's be honest -- we all like to get mom.

Anyway, it is now 1:37 pm on Christmas Eve and I haven't had a single phone call and won't unless someone decides they are throwing in the towel -- and I'm waiting to pounce if they do.

I like to win.

I'm truly grateful that I have a family when so many in Dallas do not.  Lots of kids served by Community Partners of Dallas would be happy to let someone win the game every single time if it meant they could have a family to be with today and tomorrow and forever.

I think I'll give mom a call and give her a thrill since I know how she'll answer the phone.

But I'll get her tomorrow. 

Family.

Finding Lost Love

I've been thinking about friends a lot lately.

Maybe it's because I have a birthday coming up next month (fifty-threemendous) or maybe I'm just sick of my friends...

NOTE:  Just kidding about being sick of my friends.  I'm not sick of my friends at all.  I love them and they love me.

NOTE to NOTE:  At least I'm pretty sure that they love me.  They take my calls, at least.

I think the real reason is that I keep thinking about what it would be like to be a child who is abused and neglected.  A child who is saved from a dire situation, but then is taken from the only home she knows (albeit an unsafe one) and placed into foster care.  Typically that child will not only leave her parents and family, but will also leave her friends and perhaps even her siblings.

NOTE:  Normally when children are removed by CPS from a home, all children are removed.  Many times a family of more than one or two kids cannot be placed together in the same foster home.

The child will have to go to a new school and make new friends.  He may never see his old friends again. 

When I was at Miraval recently with my friends

NOTE:  Click here to read about my most recent trip http://blog.paigemcdaniel.org/2014_06_01_archive.html

I did a workshop where they asked us to make a pie chart of how we actually spend most of our time.  My pie was heavily weighted to work (Listen to that, CPD board members!) and television (natch).  Family had a big part of the pie, but the smallest piece of my pie (that was important, anyway) was friends.  We then were asked to draw a pie of how we wanted our pie to look and of course I enlarged my friend pie quite a bit.  Great, huh?

But what have I actually done about it?

Not much.

Here is a photo of Joe and me with some really old friends -- some that we haven't broken bread with in years.

I had them all over to dinner not long ago and I put a big clock in the center of my dining room table (along with flowers and candles, too -- my Momma raised me right, people).  Time passes.  That night was a ball of fun, but I'm greedy.  I want more.

I could just cry thinking about all of the friends I've lost.  Maybe some through controversy and fights, but most just from letting them slip away.

I'm sure you have some too.  Some that just became inconvenient.  Your circumstances changed and your lives didn't gel as much.  Or maybe you got to know them just enough to know that you didn't want them much anymore.

Here I have let friends leave my life without a word of protest, but the pitiful kids Community Partners of Dallas serves have lost everyone they knew and loved in an instant -- and most of them do it kicking and crying and screaming.  I let mine go without a fight.

I'm making a pledge to you now that I'm going to look up and find some of the people that I've let slip away.  I'll report back to you.  They may not all be thrilled to hear from me, but at least I will have tried.

Our kids don't even get the chance.

Family Sucks

Or I guess I should say that dealing with family sometimes sucks, doesn't it?

My brother and I still argue over who Mom loves more (it used to be him, but now I am the favorite -- at least today...). 

I might have my mouth all set for Sunday lunch at Joe T Garcias, but no -- some family member has to be back to run errands and so we have to eat at Burger House.  Ugh.

First world problems, huh?

I also think back to when I was in middle school and my younger brother drove me absolutely crazy.  He thought it was hilarious to bug me and my friends at a slumber party, or to stand around looking stupid when a date came to pick me up in high school.

And don't even get me started on having to take him with me when my friends and I wanted to go to the Village or to a movie at NorthPark.  SOOOOO gross.

Yes, family can drive us bonkers -- but this week I was reminded of the alternative here at Community Partners of Dallas.

On Monday we had a CPS caseworker ask us for some help to provide a fun outing for some kids.  Eight kids.  Six brothers and 2 sisters.  One family.

These kids have been removed from an unsafe home and placed into foster care -- in four different foster homes.

So for just a bit of money we were able to give this family what they craved -- one another.  After being separated from one another for an extended period of time, they were all brought together by their caseworker for an afternoon of fun at Dave & Busters.  My mouth is smiling and my eyes are watering at the thought of them running to one another with shouts of joy.

I love my family.

P.S.  And God bless that caseworker, too. 

Thanksgiving with Joe

I am on vacation for Thanksgiving with my best friend Joe's family. They are a large and hilarious group of people -- from 4 month old twins to 83 year old peeps.  I really enjoy being with them and they treat me like family, so I'm blessed.

Here's what I've learned so far:

• Never turn down an offer to watch a episode of South Park with Joe. He loves it so much that it makes you happy just to see him guffaw. 
• Clark Edwards is a stud. Let him tell you about it.
• Always ask if you can help prepare the meal. I've learned lots of great tips from cooking with Clark's!
• The kitchen is the center of the house -- leave it rarely, or risk the talk turning to you...
• Always hold a baby when you get the chance -- sing a little too because the baby thinks you're Pavarotti.  You Are My Sunshine is always a winner.
• Make every moment count with those you love -- the days are long, but the years are short.

We love you, Angela.

Sisters Unknown

Every day we are reminded here at CPD of why the work we do is so important.  Just a few days ago, 2 lovely ladies were here to get some funds for a couple of twin bedroom sets at Target.  The older daughter had been living with her maternal grandmother (her mother abandoned the girl some time ago) and the courts had determined recently (through a paternity test) that she had a wonderful and appropriate father living right here in Dallas.  The girl’s father was thrilled to find his 7 year old daughter that he didn’t even know about and she is now moving in with him, his new wife, and a 3 year old half-sister.  For less than $100, we were able to help the two sisters to bond with darling matching sheet, pillow, and comforter sets.  What a way to make a family happy and make two little girls into sisters and friends.

We are just beginning our Back-To-School Drive (we will send about 2,000 kids to school with backpacks filled with supplies and uniforms in August), so please send any donations our way.  We are looking for donations of school supplies and cash (to buy uniforms and supplies – we can buy in bulk).

Thank you for always keeping Community Partners of Dallas in your thoughts and prayers.  I feel like I spend most of my time here on my knees -- either in thanksgiving or in desperation!

My #FundraisingFriday gift is going to the Dallas Museum of Art this week.  Beauty enriches our lives.  We all need more beauty.

Giving Thanks

Thanksgiving is tomorrow so, of course, I want to write about what I am thankful for this year.

• God’s grace.  Enough said.
• My family, especially my mom.  I love them more than they will ever know.
• My great job.  It is a privilege and a blessing to have a small part in helping the innocent victims of child abuse and neglect.  And without our great board members and donors and volunteers, none of it would be possible.
• My co-workers.  These remarkable women inspire me every day.  They are smart, energetic, caring, and beautiful.
• The USPS.  I love being able to write someone a note and have it arrive at their house the very next day for 44 cents.  You couldn’t pay me 20 dollars to do that.
• The Dallas Morning News and The Today Show.  They are pretty much my only news providers except E.
• My sweet and wonderful housekeeper, Isabel.  She makes my life easier and her smile will stop traffic.
• My best friends.  My world would be cold and harsh without these fabulous people:  Joanna, Cynthia, Maria, Lynn, Jill, Jan, Lori, and Joe. 
• My new friend, Dave Romanelli.  Dave is known as “Yeah Dave” and can be found at yeahdave.com.  Dave has changed my way of thinking about things this year.  He has encouraged me to find something beautiful, delicious, and funny every day.  I wish that I had our phone conversations on tape.  His wisdom has helped me to get over some long-held crap.
• You.  When I started this blog just over a year ago, I really didn’t know if I would like writing.  I do.  And I am so grateful that you like me enough to read it.

I’m sitting here now with a few tears in my eyes.  At this time last year I wrote about all of the things in my life that I loved – my car, my IPad, etc.  I find it interesting that this year it is about people.

I am wishing you a blessed and happy holiday.  Tomorrow, hug those people around you a little closer.  They deserve it.  You do too.

A Smile as Big as Texas

I saw a smile as big as Texas last night.  It was on a little 3-year-old boy’s face named Ernest.  Ernest and his family were with me last night at GattiTown, along with a whole bunch of other kids, their families, and CPS caseworkers.  Here’s the story:

I have worked for Community Partners of Dallas for almost 10 years and in that time I have come to know LOTS of CPS caseworkers.  Most CPS caseworkers don’t stay with CPS – in fact they used to tell me that 60% of new caseworkers left before they even completed 6 months on the job.  It’s tough work and those who do stay for a few years often get moved up into supervisory roles.

Note:  Not all caseworkers want to move into supervisory roles – I’ve talked to some who moved up and then came back to casework because of the huge amounts of paperwork and the added stress. While a single caseworker may have 25-50 cases at a time, a supervisor has 8 caseworkers under them – all with 20-50 cases.  Holding that many young lives in your hands is terrifying.

Anyway, I tell you this to let you know that when a supervisor calls me and wants to meet with me about something – and the call is from someone I have known for years as both a caseworker and supervisor – I get interested immediately.  I mean, if I’ve known this person since I’ve been working with CPS, they are good.  They’ve stuck it out.  They know what they are talking about.

So a few months ago my friend Bobby, a CPS supervisor, called me and asked to have a meeting.  With him, he brought a well thought out written proposal (my little grant-writer’s heart fluttered).  Bobby and his team wanted to celebrate some successful families – those with whom they had worked and who had come out on the other side, better than before.  Families who had their lives turned upside down with an investigation of child abuse, but who had worked with their caseworker, gone to parenting classes,  and had proven that they could be successful parents.  Some were families where the children had been permanently removed from their birth parents and placed with loving relatives.  Successful families.

So instead of focusing on what most people think of when they think about CPS – tearing families apart – this event would be celebrating families who were a success.

Bobby brought us this great idea and it was one that our board at CPD loved.  And luckily for us, one of our board members is the owner of GattiTown, Mr. Paul Griffiths.  When I asked Paul and his wife Aimee if they would be willing to host this event, they said yes immediately.  What a HUGE gift they gave to us and to those families last night!  After a little presentation for each family, the pizza bar was opened and the games and rides were free to our guests.

Our Development VP, Joanna Clarke, and I just stood in the middle of the midway room watching the kids run around with tons of prize tickets, parents interacting with their kids and enjoying themselves, and even caseworkers running into each other in the bumper cars and laughing hysterically.  Joanna and Ernest even got me to ride the Frog Hopper ride – and I screamed more than any of the kids.

Toward the end of the night, Paul and I were standing in the midway, just taking it all in, and Bobby came over to once again thank us.  Bobby explained that one of the families in particular lived at a very low socio-economic level and they just would never have been able to have a night like this – not in their wildest dreams.

A wildest dream and a smile as big as Texas.  What a night.