What I think about the NFL right now.

Hi, gang -- I've taken a week off to think.
First, let me be honest.  I don't really watch football. I've always thought it was more fun to watch with other people and frankly -- as a single 50-something -- if I'm going to be with other people, I want to do something more fun -- like talk to them.

But because of all the NFL player relationship revelations over the past weeks, I've spent a lot of time thinking about it.  Of course, I'm shocked and appalled that grown men are wielding their considerable strength against people they should love and protect.  And it sickens me to watch it, to see the photos, to hear more and more of it coming out.

Adrian Peterson says that he is not a child abuser, but the photos of his son with switch marks covering his legs tell a different story.  You can see them here:  http://dailysnark.com/pictures-adrian-petersons-sons-beating-wounds-emerge/  And supposedly Peterson has a history of child abuse with a previous case.

This is totally unacceptable.

Heroes need to be heroes.  Good men everywhere need to condemn this activity. Good companies need to quit advertising.

My dilemma has been about the role of a boss in this stuff. Obviously, if one of my employees  admitted to abusing a child, I'd fire their ass.  It is part of our mission, thus I cannot have an employee doing exactly what we are trying to eradicate. But, is a hitting a child with a switch or hitting your girlfriend in an elevator (with no legal conviction, yet) affecting that person's job performance?

I put this question to a room full of smart, smart people yesterday -- the board members of Community Partners of Dallas.  And their answer?  A resounding YES.  The men and women in our board room talked about character, heroism, morality.  We talked about advertisers leaving the NFL and about politics.  About rushing to judgement and about women standing up and leaving football because they are not going to support an organization that makes these men into role models. And about how pro-business conservatives need to feel the same way because what is more pro-business than letting employers fire who they want.

And don't get me started on why the NFL is a non-profit organization.  It's time for that nonsense to end too.

It's not an issue that seems to be going away anytime soon. I'm glad we're all talking about it because evil cannot live in the light.

Let's bring in the sun and stop it for good.

3 Myths About Business and Charity

Tomorrow is the day that we give away coats for the kids at Community Partners of Dallas.  As you may know, CPD works with kids who are involved with the Child Protective Services system – so our clients are abused and neglected children who have open cases with CPS.

I have been here as CEO for almost 11 years and the coats we give out have pretty much single-handedly been supplied by the employees at Fidelity Investments for every one of those years – and even more years could be tacked on to the total from before I came here.  I don’t know how our relationship with Fidelity began, but we are surely blessed because of it.  I have no idea what we would do without them, as Fidelity delivered more than 1,500 coats to us on Monday morning – volunteers are sorting and counting them in our warehouse even as I type this post.

1. MYTH:  Corporations donate a lot to charity.  Some corporations do, but for the most part very little charitable dollars come from corporations.  In the US, charitable giving statistics are as follows:  Individuals, 73%; Foundations & Bequests, 22%; Corporations, 5%   NOTE:  At CPD we are very close to the national averages, as we are 71%, 25%, 4%
2. MYTH:  It is easy to raise funds from businesses.  If you have ever been in a meeting where people (aka board members/event volunteers/lay leaders) are brainstorming about how to raise money, invariably someone will pipe up and say “Well, you just need to call <insert name of big company here> and get them to give us some money.”  NOTE:  Notice that I used the word “you” in the “YOU just need to call” – that was on purpose, people.  Corporate money is the hardest money to raise in any economic environment and even more so in this kind of economy.  In fact, corporate giving declined 3% in 2011 and who knows what it will be like in 2012…
3. MYTH:  Money is all corporations give to charity.  Businesses do give funds, but many give in-kind donations that are worth thousands of dollars.  Corporations also provide volunteers to help charities and some even pay their employees to do volunteer work.  NOTE:  Working with corporations takes a lot of follow up and follow through.  If you are a charity who wants to “go for” corporate funds, be sure that you know this and plan accordingly.  Lots of emails, phone calls, and personal contacts are vital.  Corinne Karp, our Director of Corporate Development, does an outstanding job at this, so feel free to call her at 214-624-7588 to get your company involved today.

Thank you to everyone at Fidelity Investments for your huge gift to CPD.  You are champions and myth busters!

 P.S.  My #FundraisingFriday gift is going to CPD.  If Fidelity employees can do it, so can I.

Meeting Protocol

I’ve got a bone to pick today.

I get a call (or more often, an email) from someone asking me to meet with them.  The caller usually falls into one of four categories:

1. Someone I know well.
2. Someone I know, but not well.
3. Someone referred by someone I know.
4. Someone I don’t know and has not been referred by someone I know.

Now, if you know me, you know that I love to meet and talk to people.  Especially because these types of meetings are usually about giving advice – my favorite kind of meeting – I am always happy to set aside 30 minutes to do this.

Here’s the chicken bone stuck in my teeth (sorry for the visual):  Finding a date and time to meet drives me crazy!  Absolutely crazy.  The reason?  Because “Someone” needs to set and finalize the meeting – not me.

Here’s what happens:

Someone leaves me a voice mail or email:  “I’d like to meet with you.”

Me:  “Great.  Happy to do it.  When/where do you want to get together?”

Someone:  “Let me know what works for you.”

This pisses me off.  Someone is the one who wants/needs to meet with me.  Someone needs to offer up some meeting dates and times.

Me:  “OK, how about Friday at noon or Monday at 3:00, here at my office?”

Someone:  “Those don’t work for me.  And where is your office?”

My address is at the bottom of every email I send out.

Me:  “Why don’t you give me some that work for you then?”

Someone:  “Oh no, you’re so much busier than I am – you tell me when you have time.”

And the cycle continues.

Meeting protocol (at least in my tiny mind) says that whoever wants me to do them a favor (via a meeting) needs to start the day and time discussion and set the place (usually the place needs to be my office at Community Partners of Dallas and you need to figure out where it is and how long it will take you to get there, dammit).  I want you to give me some dates and times you can meet and then it is easy for me to look at my calendar and see which one works.

Yum.  That chicken was delicious.

Tips from Roger Horchow on Connecting with People

I was lucky enough to hear Roger Horchow speak yesterday at a lunch for the United Way.  He is 83 years old and if you don’t know who he is, Google him – he is simply amazing.  Throughout his life, he has met and worked with some of the most famous people in the world:  Nancy & Ronald Reagan, Diane Von Furstenberg, Barbara Walters, Carol Channing, Stanley Marcus, and many, many more.  Roger and his late wife were often seated at dinner tables with the world’s most interesting people. 

It really was a great speech, but the “Aha” moment for me was Roger’s fab advice to always continue to make connections with people.  Follow up later when you meet someone.  Send them a handwritten note.  If they invite you to come by the next time you’re in Kalamazoo, call them up before you arrive and tell them you’re coming to town and would love to see them.

Now, you know that this advice isn’t a new revelation for me – I am a gal from Texas and my mother “raised me right” – I know that I need to do this, and I do it.  Believe me, when you raise money for a living, you have to do it!  But what I loved about hearing it from Roger was that he showed us how the connections he made with people helped make him into a successful business leader, a successful person, and someone who we would all love to sit across from at our next dinner party. 

I’m available whenever you call, Roger.

P.S.  Here's a photo of Jennifer Hilton Sampson and me from yesterday -- by the time I remembered to take our picture, Roger was gone.  Oh well, 2 more interesting people he'll have to meet another day...