Words I love. The struggle is real.

I love words.  Quotes, especially, but really just words.  I have an account on Instagram, but really it's words for me.  Of course, I'm a reader -- although lately, I've been slacking on my novels for work-related stuff.

So, for today's blog post, I'm hitting you with a few of my new and long-time favorite phrases:

1. Hello from the other side.  I must have called a thousand times to tell you I'm sorry for everything that I've done, but when I call you never seem to be home.  These words are on everyone's minds right now due to the earworm, but I really do find the lyrics striking from Adele's latest.  And gosh, isn't she just absolutely beautiful?  Sings pretty well too.
2. The struggle is real.  Not sure why I find this so interesting, but I've never heard anyone in person use it.  I have heard it a couple of times in commericals.  I love it so much that I used it in conversation with Joe the other night.  He just looked at me.  Obviously, he doesn't know how f-ing cool I am.
3. If it takes a village to raise a child, it also takes a village to abuse one.  This is from the film Spotlight about the Catholic priest sexual abuse scandal and about how it was first reported by The Boston Globe.  The quote is so true -- it is very difficult to engage in ongoing abuse of a child without someone knowing or suspecting something.  If you suspect abuse or neglect, you must report it -- it is your legal duty to do so.  In Texas call 1-800-252-5400.
4. She's the coolest girl in school and everyone worships her because she's heaven.  This is from my favorite Christmas movie, Love Actually.  Get the popcorn ready.

Happy Friday, friends!

Thoughts on Joe Paterno, Gerald Sandusky, and Bill Cosby

You may already know that I like quotes.  I usually start the morning with a quote from my box of 365 quotes and I love it.  Every once in awhile I even do a blog post with a famous quote or two.  I usually post the good ones on Instagram to share too, so if you want to follow me there, I'm xxoopaige

Info about my 365 quote box here:  http://blog.paigemcdaniel.org/2015/04/four-favorite-things-i-love-right-now.html

Anyway, I do love my quote box, but a couple of days ago, I threw one into the recycling.  It wasn't the quote that made me do it -- it was the "quotee" -- Joe Paterno.

Frankly, I don't even remember what the quote was -- it was fine and uplifting, but I just thought I didn't want to ever think about those boys and the Sandusky crap again.  And Joe Paterno makes me think of that crap.

Most of you probably didn't read the 162 page report and the accompanying 150-ish page appendices when they came out.  I did.

People do abuse children.  That is the sad and horrific truth.  And most of the time those who abuse children are family members.  Sometimes, like with Gerald Sandusky, it is a friend.  Child abuse of any kind is a crime that is sometimes difficult to see.  A predator -- whether family, friend, or stranger -- can get away with it.  But the Pennsylvania State University employees who looked the other way, suspected what was going on, even had a "hmmm, that's weird" feeling sicken me too.

So, sorry, Joe Paterno, no quotes from you stay in my little box.

Bill Cosby and his cover-ups of rape crimes make me mad too.

I really loved The Cosby Show.  I often laughed out loud at Cliff Huxtable -- one of my favorite lines was when Theo (his teen-aged son) was talking about being rich and Dr. Huxtable said something like "Son, WE are not rich.  Your mother and I are rich."  Truth!

This all got me thinking about how quickly it can all be over -- fame, respect, your place in history, etc.  No more dinner invites for the Cosby's, I bet.  His place on the speaker circuit is gone.  Any deals he had in the works are kaput.

Cosby made his bed (so to speak) himself.  Paterno just didn't turn in his friend.

Neither one will be quoted by me again.

I just did something I never wanted to do.

First, let me start this post by stating the obvious.

I am not a prude.

Hey, I'm a 53-year-old grown ass woman who has had a fantastic, fun life. 

• I've travelled all over the world.
• I'm well read.
• I listen to Howard Stern.

And the most telling of all -- I was a theater major in college -- and you KNOW how those artsy people were in college...

So, I'll say it again, with conviction -- I am not a prude.

But, last night I saw The Rocky Horror Show at The Dallas Theater Center, and I'm grossed out.  The show is well acted, has great costumes, and a fun set, but it went too far.  Simulated sex (even fully clothed) is funny once, maybe twice, but this production just went too far. 

My friends and I danced The Time Warp and bought the $10 prop bags so we could make it rain with water pistols and throw rolls of toilet paper on stage.  The music was good and some of the actors can really sing.  Liz Mikel was her usual glorious self in a dual role. There was a lot to love about the show.

I'm not sure why this production -- really it is only the second act that was so revolting -- has sickened me. 

Maybe it's that I'm becoming an old lady who remembers the good old days when we left our doors open and walked 20 miles in the snow to school...  But I think it may be that I know that there are real children in the world who are watching and living in porn and smut.  Children who live lives of quiet desperation being sexually abused -- who would give anything to just have something good in their lives. 

I guess I just don't want to see overt sexuality and hear people laugh about it ever again.  I'm shocked and I want the Theater Center to tone it down.  But what I really want is a better world for kids.

P.S.  About the title of this post -- I just called DTC and left a message for someone to call me so I can give them some feedback about the show.  Again, I'm not a prude.

I'm available for service.

People are crazy.

And sick.

This was how I responded to an email I got this afternoon from Ann, our office manager at Community Partners of Dallas. 

Ann is our agency detective.  If you want to know what the weather will be in three weeks, who is currently dating George Clooney, or how much the eye of a newt weighs -- ask Ann.

NOTE:  I love to work with people who have hidden talents.  Ask me sometime why we call Pam the enforcer...

Some of Ann's ongoing detective work includes keeping me informed of news stories -- particularly child abuse related ones.  So today, I returned from lunch (and while I was out also exercised my right to vote), sat down at my computer and was greeted with this link from Ann:

http://crimeblog.dallasnews.com/2014/02/dallas-man-accused-of-sexually-assaulting-two-girls-tuesday-night.html/

Seems this asshole decided to sexually assault a 2-year-old girl and a 3-year-old girl with a green chili pepper early Tuesday morning.  His crime was discovered when another adult was putting the girls to bed and noticed the little girls had rashes on their bodies. 

He's in the Dallas County jail with a $200,000 bail amount.

That's all -- a $200,000 bail?

I don't know if $200,000,000 is enough.

The Heraldo Munoz's of the world better be glad that I am not a judge.  Hope I get on the jury. 

Last Night...

I didn't get to sleep at all.

NOTE:  If you recognize The Fifth Dimension reference, give yourself 100 points.

I only slept about 3 hours last night.

You'd think I'd be crashing by now -- it's 4 pm -- but actually, I feel pretty good.  Sometimes we think that we just can't make it without something because that's what we're used to:

• Sleep
• Coffee
• Sweets
• Television

Oh, you know -- just anything.  The over-dramatic -- gosh, I'm so tired, or I need my coffee blather.

But I usually find that I can make it. 

We keep going because we have to keep going.  Gosh, all I really need is some exciting work to do, some ideas to toss around, get those creative juices flowing, etc.

We can do a lot more than we require of ourselves.

I spent last night at Community Partners of Dallas Heart Program.  The Heart Program provides group treatment for child victims of sexual abuse and their non-offending family members.  Last night was the Halloween Party and everyone had a great time.  Every Tuesday night these kids -- some as young as 3 and 4 years old -- talk about their abuse with peers and they heal.

They keep going because they have to keep going.  God bless them.

Quick Thoughts on Penn State

I ate a quick lunch alone at the bar at Nordstrom today and happened to look up at the TV above the bar.

On the screen I saw some ESPN guys talking about Pennsylvania Governor Tom Corbett's announcement that he is filing a suit against the NCAA because he feels the penalty against the school for the child molestation case was too harsh.

It was not too harsh.

Many people at the university knew or suspected children were being abused and did nothing.

The NCAA sent a strong message to collegiate sports and to every person in leadership at any business in America that there are some crimes so egregious that no cover up can ever be allowed.

I think the fine should have been worse.

Some Monsters are Real

Halloween is tonight and it always gets me thinking about scary stuff.

At Community Partners of Dallas only Vanessa, Pam and I like scary movies (27% of the staff).  I mostly like the ones like The Sixth Sense or Rosemary's Baby, but I'll go to Paranormal Activity if someone will go with me.  I think it's fun to be scared and yucky stuff doesn't stay in my head like it does for others.

NOTE:  I absolutely love scary stuff on TV.  Dexter, American Horror Story, etc.  Give me a night in and an episode or two on the dvr and I'm in heaven (or hell, of course)...

Last night I didn't watch a scary show on TV, I met people who lived one.

Every Tuesday night, CPD holds group treatment therapy for child victims of sexual abuse.  The program is called Heart and the kids and their non-offending family members meet and talk about what happened to them and how to get on with their lives.

I can't imagine ever getting over such a violation, can you?  These kids know what real terror is.  What degradation feels like.  They know what monsters look like, smell like, sound like.

And that's a movie I never want another child to see.

Apple v BlackBerry and McDonald's v Wendy's: Thoughts

Joanna and I just got back to our office after a visit to the Dallas Children's Advocacy Center (DCAC) this morning.  I asked for the meeting with Lyn Davis (CEO) and Chris Culak (Chief Development Officer) because I often get questions about how what we do fits in with what they do. 

NOTE:  Here's my short answer to those who are wondering...  While all children involved with CPS are eligible for Community Partners of Dallas' programs and services (CPD will serve about 20,000 kids this year through all of our programs), the DCAC serves a distinct subset of those who have suffered from the most horrific types of abuse with forensic interviews, ongoing therapy, and more. 

It was great meeting with Lyn and Chris and seeing all they do to help 2,500 children annually. 

Being in the non-profit world is different from being in the for-profit arena.  I would imagine that it might be difficult for the BlackBerry guys to call up Apple and go over and take a tour and speak about program specifics.  Would McDonald's take a meeting with Wendy's to discuss the new burger they were rolling out in a couple of months?

In the non-profit world, we want to help one another succeed because the greater good is served by working together.

I love my job.

P.S.  My #FundraisingFriday gift is going to the DCAC this week.

Searching for E...

I woke up at 4:27 am this morning.  Ugh.  After trying to fall back to sleep for about 30 minutes (with no luck, of course), I decided to just go ahead and wake up and turn on the TV.  I watched some shows on the DVR (Dance Moms and Design Star to be exact – love them both!) and then it was time to get up and walk with Cynthia. 

Cynthia and I have been friends since high school and we walk on Monday and Wednesday mornings before work – and since I know you’re wondering, we walk about 2 miles and not very fast, we’re talking the entire time – it is a great time to catch up and start the day moving.  I wouldn’t call it a habit, but it is a routine that we like and at least we’re putting in a little effort toward health on a regular basis.

NOTE:  Cynthia does far more than I toward healthy living.  She has a trainer, goes to classes, yoga, etc.  I'm the slug and since she reads this blog, I don't want to misrepresent her health-filled life.  Pardon me while I roll my eyes...

When I got to work this morning, Renee was already in the building.  Renee runs our Heart Program at Community Partners of Dallas and does a spectacular job.  The Heart Program is a group therapy program for children who have been sexually abused and for their non-offending family members.  It takes place every Tuesday night and kids are truly helped by it.

Anyway, this morning I stopped in Renee’s office to see how last night went for the kids and family members and since I had taken a phone call from one of the moms who is participating in the program with her daughter, I wanted to know what she wanted to speak with Renee about.

NOTE:  Yes, curiosity killed the cat and the CEO.  MYOB.

Renee told me the mom came to her last night and explained that her daughter (a victim of sexual abuse) just wasn’t getting anything out of the treatment.  Of course, I was surprised, and started to ask more questions when Renee said BUT THIS WAS ONLY HER SECOND TIME TO ATTEND.

One session of group therapy does not heal you, honey.  Didn't your mother tell you that anything worth doing takes time?

My AHA Moment today is that we need to make an effort to give everything that we’re doing a good old college try. 

Hey, I love Cynthia, but I sure don’t love walking.  I have to make myself do it and part of why is that it helps me.  It’s the same with therapy, piano lessons, bible study, school work, even blogging – the effort will bring a reward.

Mom and daughter are coming back – session 2 helped.

P.S.  The E I'm searching for is energy.  Remember, I woke up at 4:27.  Ugh.

P.P.S.  My #FundraisingFriday gift is to CPD's Heart Program.

Goodbye, Friend

Today is the final Oprah Winfrey Show.  I have long admired Oprah for what she has done for so many people in this world.  She presented herself in an open way to the world and made many of us look at things we didn’t want to look at:  AIDs, Racism, Sexual Abuse, Family Violence, and more. 

The show she did this year with Tyler Perry still amazes me.  A whole studio audience full of men who were victims of child sexual abuse was ground-breaking. 

Oprah struggled with her own issues and let us see her struggle up-close and personally:  Weight, Child Abuse, Mistakes.  She encouraged many in this country to start reading books and helped many authors to rise from relative unknown to super-stardom. 

While I didn’t always agree with everything she said or did, I admire her.  I’ll watch her final show tonight – and I know that I’ll cry like I'm losing a friend. 

I look forward to seeing what she does next.

3 Baby Girls

I met two absolutely beautiful babies this week at Community Partners of Dallas.  Two precious baby girls, both wrapped in pink with little hats and blankets.  Both healthy and happy and just exactly the kind of child you can’t leave without touching their baby toes and putting your face right in theirs and talking baby talk.

Both baby girls arrived here safely in car seats driven by their beautiful mothers who are volunteers with our agency.  These baby girls were both wanted so much by both their mothers and fathers and we all prayed for the pregnancies, for their health, and for their safe delivery. 

And you should see the baby announcements for these two darlings – one of them is wearing a princess tiara and pink tulle and the other is wearing a pink knit skull cap with a large rhinestone pin attached to it.  The entire staff squealed with delight when we opened them!  I even took them home so my mother could see the announcements – and she doesn’t even know the families!  Truly, I have not been more excited about two baby girls in my life (except of course for my very own two nieces who were just as beautiful and perfect and wanted).

Contrast this with the baby girl who came to our Heart Program last night.  The Heart Program provides group therapy for kids who have been sexually abused and for their non-offending family members.

The 16 year-old mom was sexually abused by the boyfriend of the teen’s mother, so that is why she was referred to our Heart Program.  The teen had her baby in December (the baby is not a product of the sexual abuse, she is the child of a teen boyfriend) and is working to get her life back on track.

The Heart baby girl doesn’t have a birth announcement and doesn’t have her birth father in her life.  Her teen mom is no longer living with her own mother because her mother did not believe that her own boyfriend had sexually abused her daughter.

But, the Heart baby was safely carried in a car seat and was all dressed in pink and was just as precious as my other baby girls.  And I hope just as much happiness comes to her as I know it will to my other baby girls.

And with help, I hope that she will break the cycle.

Did you see it?

Did you see it?

I am talking about the recent 2-part Oprah Show with 200 adult males who were victims of childhood sexual abuse.  According to Oprah, this was the first time this ever happened on television.

The show came to fruition through an interview Oprah did with her friend Tyler Perry.  Tyler was sexually abused as a young boy by several men and a woman and he had the guts to talk about it with Oprah. 

The statistics say that 1 in 4 girls was sexually abused as a child, and that 1 in 6 boys was sexually abused.

Boys just don't talk about it.  And of course many girls don't either. 

Let them talk about it.

We let them talk at Community Partners of Dallas.  Every Tuesday night we provide sexual abuse group treatment for victims and their non-offending family members.  They talk about it. 

Last night one of the teen girls told her group that with their help she had finally mustered up the courage to call in a police report on her ex-boyfriend who had repeatedly sexually assaulted her.

Talking can heal.