I'm getting kinda nervous...

I’m getting kinda nervous.

See, I’m going to a Karaoke party for a charity on Friday night and I told the 2 fabulous chairs and everyone at my office and my family and the friend who is taking me as his guest and really now that I am telling you guys…

Well, let’s just say that I told A LOT of people that I would sing Friday night.

So that’s why I’m nervous. 

Now, I can sing – I was a theatre major in college (notice I even used the fancy spelling of theatre, like I did back then when I wanted to be in the THEATRE and project to the balcony).  My parents would tell you that they paid a lot of good money for me to be able to sing on stage.  But even though I can do it, it’s been a long time and I’m still a little nervous.

The older that I get, the less I want to try something new.  I know what I’m good at and what I’m not.  I just no longer attempt things that I’m not good at.  I don’t have to disappoint myself or anyone else.  I don’t have to get nervous.  And I don’t have to learn anything new.  Life is easy.  But how boring is that?

What if that was what we told kids?  What if we told the children we work with at Community Partners of Dallas that they should just follow the patterns of violence that they already know too well?  What if we told them that their lives were never going to change – that adults will always use and abuse them, that they will never have a wish fulfilled in life, that they will never have a better life?  That they are victims and that they will be victims for the rest of their lives?

No, we don’t tell the kids that because we truly believe that they can change the cycle.  I’ll sing for them on Friday.

But I’m still a little nervous.

Why We Love Dallas.

We had our first board meeting of the year at Community Partners of Dallas today.  We had a room of about 30 board and staff members there and believe me, they are a powerful group.  Board members come to us through a variety of ways:  the Junior League of Dallas (LOVE the JLD!), the business world, volunteer service, through friends, and many other ways. 

Since this was our first meeting of the year and we had a few new board members in the room, we took the opportunity to go around the room and have each board member tell what his or her favorite thing is about Dallas, as well as their favorite thing about our agency.  I just LOVED the answers we got, especially when they talked about the agency and remarked on the beauty of the staff members (Yes, some of them actually said that – Gold Stars for them!). 

But I really enjoyed discussing the best things about Dallas.  Several people loved how Dallas really has become a great city for the arts.  Some mentioned loving all of the great choices for restaurants in Big D – S&D Oyster Company and Bob’s Chop House were especially noted.  Several said that they loved how easy it was to get around in Dallas and we were all happy to have a Target Store nearby our homes.  One person said that she loved her nice neighbors; another that we live in a city where we feel pretty safe.  Others noted the generosity of our city and how we enjoy such a variety of activity options for all ages.  Many said that they loved our weather (except the ice).

However, one board member’s comment really hit home with me.  She said that her favorite thing about Dallas was her friends. 

Isn’t that what makes life on earth bearable?  A friend to help you when you need help.  A friend who brings you a valentine.  A friend who calls you when you’re low.  A friend who makes you laugh. 

A friend who reminds you that you live in a great city and work for a great agency.  Thanks, Leslie.

Tips from Roger Horchow on Connecting with People

I was lucky enough to hear Roger Horchow speak yesterday at a lunch for the United Way.  He is 83 years old and if you don’t know who he is, Google him – he is simply amazing.  Throughout his life, he has met and worked with some of the most famous people in the world:  Nancy & Ronald Reagan, Diane Von Furstenberg, Barbara Walters, Carol Channing, Stanley Marcus, and many, many more.  Roger and his late wife were often seated at dinner tables with the world’s most interesting people. 

It really was a great speech, but the “Aha” moment for me was Roger’s fab advice to always continue to make connections with people.  Follow up later when you meet someone.  Send them a handwritten note.  If they invite you to come by the next time you’re in Kalamazoo, call them up before you arrive and tell them you’re coming to town and would love to see them.

Now, you know that this advice isn’t a new revelation for me – I am a gal from Texas and my mother “raised me right” – I know that I need to do this, and I do it.  Believe me, when you raise money for a living, you have to do it!  But what I loved about hearing it from Roger was that he showed us how the connections he made with people helped make him into a successful business leader, a successful person, and someone who we would all love to sit across from at our next dinner party. 

I’m available whenever you call, Roger.

P.S.  Here's a photo of Jennifer Hilton Sampson and me from yesterday -- by the time I remembered to take our picture, Roger was gone.  Oh well, 2 more interesting people he'll have to meet another day...

Tips on Blogging from a Non-Expert. Really, I mean that, people.

It is day 2 of the Dallas ice storm.  What am I doing?  Well, I tried to learn how to edit video on Flip Share (unsuccessfully -- thank God for Natalie Farr), talked to my mom numerous times (she is planning a party, so lots to discuss), worked remotely on the CPD computers (hear that, Community Partners of Dallas’ Board Members – I am always working!), built a fire (somewhat successfully – the wood is pretty wet), and am starting to think about lunch.  But Wednesday is my normal blogging day, so I am sitting at the computer, writing. 

Blogging is an interesting activity.  Have something to say?  Put it out there!  Is it controversial?  Think about it first, then decide how you would feel if they quoted it on the front page of The Dallas Morning News, then do it if you feel strongly about it!  Can you pass along interesting content that people would like to read?  If so, do it (and by the way, you won’t know if people want to read it until you do it – but you’ll find out quickly enough – your blog site will tell you how many views you get for each post)! 

What can your blog be about?  You can choose to blog about an activity that you enjoy:  One of my friends (the wonderful Katie Mears) started a wonderful blog this year called “Is There Any Wine Left” (www.IsThereAnyWineLeft.com) and it is all about recipes she loves.  Or you can just start writing about whatever you want to write about, more like mine.

My blog (http://blog.paigemcdaniel.org/) has been a lot of fun for me and you are actually reading this (Thanks, BTW!), so it is helping me to get the word out about CPD, as well as about other things that I enjoy.  I never would have started my blog without encouragement from others – CPD's Program Director, Sarah Thomsen; one of our former college interns, Brian Wellman; the Development VP at Hope Cottage, Leslie White Clay; and Brad Mays, a friend from HPUMC.  Also, I learned some basics from a Social Media seminar put on by Kim Whitman’s Rsvp Soiree that featured Mike Merrill.  Many thanks to all of you for your help and advice.

So, allow me to be your encourager if you are thinking about starting a blog.  Do it!  And if you need some advice about blogging from a relative novice, feel free to call me at 214-624-7557.  But not today, I’m at home – it’s a snow day.

P.S.  When I wrote the first paragraph of this blog, I had no idea about what would come out.  So, call for advice at your own risk.  Fair warning!  Stay Warm!

She is 24

Do you remember what it was like to be 24 years old?

All I remember is trying to have lots of fun, while working very little.  My mom called it “carousing”.  My friends and I called it “party, party, party, tanning”.  I certainly didn’t want any responsibilities and no consequences either.  Life was a ball of fun.

That is not the life of 24-year-old Isabel.

Isabel made a life for herself.  While she didn’t go to college, she went to trade school and is working as a hair stylist.  She overcame a negative childhood.  Her mom tended to run around with lots of men, many of whom brought domestic violence into their lives.  Isabel knows about CPS.  She knows that CPS caseworkers helped her several times.  She was thrilled when she graduated from high school and got out – she got an apartment, finished her training, and made a life for herself.  But her mom’s life didn’t change.

Isabel has 4 younger half-brothers, ages 3, 6, 7, and 11.  The boys were living with Isabel’s mom and her then boyfriend until about a month ago.  Isabel’s mom finally made a choice.  She chose her violent boyfriend over the welfare of her sons.  When CPS talked to Isabel about taking in the boys, the 24-year-old girl said yes.  Even with her 24-year-old life just beginning, even with not having enough beds, even with not knowing exactly how she would care for her 4 little brothers, she said yes.

Community Partners of Dallas helped her buy bunk beds for the boys.  We helped her with a deposit on a larger apartment.  We helped her with all of the initial needs of the boys.

Isabel will be giving up any carousing.  Giving up her “party, party, party, tanning”.  She is 24.

I Died 5 Years Ago

About 5 years ago, I was reported as dead.

I wasn’t.

Really, it was just a typo in my church newsletter.  My mom made donations of lilies in honor of my brother, his family, and me during the Easter season.  The newsletter accidentally listed my name under the “in memory” section instead of the “in honor” section. 

Of course, I wasn’t mad or anything.  Things like this do happen occasionally (luckily, not for CPD – Joanna is VERY careful about it).  You laugh and move on.  My family and I all just thought that it was hilarious and of course I spent a lot of time telling the story at work and getting to use Mark Twain’s famous line “reports of my death are greatly exaggerated”, etc.

Now, I go to a big church, Highland Park United Methodist (the largest United Methodist Church in the country, I think), and at that time they only sent a snail mail newsletter to members, so thousands and thousands of people received the notice that I was dead.  And aside from two old friends from high school calling my mom to ask her when I passed, no one much noticed.

What’s up with that, people?  I grew up here.  People know me.  Two people called?

Life truly does go on, doesn’t it?

Make the most of your days here on earth.  Of course, I suggest that you do that by giving back to your community (We are here for you at Community Partners of Dallas!).  Because someday, no matter how famous or popular you are now, you will probably be forgotten.  I just got hit in the face with it a little early.

And remembering this quote by the great Martin Luther King helps to keep me on track:

Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, ‘What are you doing for others?’

Make your days here count, because even one small gift can change a life for the better.  Someone you will never meet will benefit from your volunteer service teaching ESL, your donation of funds to provide a winter coat or food, your instruction to your own child about bullying others – the list goes on and on and on.

That’s your legacy.  It will not be forgotten.

What would your life look like without a landline phone?

As a 40-something (really almost 50, but who’s counting) gal in the big city, do I really need a landline phone? 

This is a new measure of the generation gap for me. 

Do you have a landline phone? 

If you are over 45, you are probably going to say yes.  If you are 40 to 45, you might have one, especially if you have kids.  But my totally unofficial poll (here at Community Partners of Dallas with our staff) says that if you are under 40, you don’t have a landline phone.

So for those young at heart gals/guys who may be considering a switch, here are my questions/thoughts:

1. I find it difficult to hold my cell phone between my ear and shoulder, so how do I cook, work from home on computer, etc.?  Keep in mind that I hate it when people use a speakerphone, so I don’t want to use the one on the cell unless absolutely necessary.
2. Joanna says that she doesn’t really like having a long conversation on her cell phone because the cell is harder to hold for an extended period.  Is this true? 
3. Do you just give out your cell number to the world?  So when you buy a single bottle of nail polish on the internet (Yes, I did this last week.  It is Rachel Zoe’s favorite color – can’t wait for it to arrive!) and they make you give a phone number, is the cell number okay with you?  I always put my home number in this box.
4. What about an emergency in the night?  I always turn off my cell ringer when I go to bed (actually those of you who know me well know that I almost never turn on the cell ringer – a constant battle of words with my family who expect me to be at their beck and call at all times).  Do you bring the phone into the bedroom at night to plug it in?
5. Solicitation calls – do you get them on your cell?  I would really hate that.  By the way, who is really answering sales calls any more?  On my landline I have Caller ID, so I never answer them.  On the cell it doesn’t tell me who is calling, just the phone number.  I would really hate that, people.

Please let me know what you think.  And don’t call – I won’t answer.