Goodbye, Friend

Today is the final Oprah Winfrey Show.  I have long admired Oprah for what she has done for so many people in this world.  She presented herself in an open way to the world and made many of us look at things we didn’t want to look at:  AIDs, Racism, Sexual Abuse, Family Violence, and more. 

The show she did this year with Tyler Perry still amazes me.  A whole studio audience full of men who were victims of child sexual abuse was ground-breaking. 

Oprah struggled with her own issues and let us see her struggle up-close and personally:  Weight, Child Abuse, Mistakes.  She encouraged many in this country to start reading books and helped many authors to rise from relative unknown to super-stardom. 

While I didn’t always agree with everything she said or did, I admire her.  I’ll watch her final show tonight – and I know that I’ll cry like I'm losing a friend. 

I look forward to seeing what she does next.

Controlling the MAVS

I want the Mavs to win.  I really, really want them to win.  So, I am not watching the games on TV.

Is this strange?  Not if you know me.  When I watch games on TV, my teams tend to lose.  I can’t tell you how many times the Cowboys have lost because I was watching.  I have named this the “Paige Effect”.

During Pre-Season and even for most of the Regular Season, I don’t worry about the Paige Effect on my teams.  They win sometimes and lose sometimes, but it isn’t for the big Kahuna, so I don’t worry about it much.  But, for the conference playoffs and finals, I make this sacrifice. 

BTW, what is a Kahuna and why do we want a big one?  Is it a fish?  I don't really think that I want a big fish.  A normal sized one is big enough, thank you very much.

Even my co-workers fear the Paige Effect.  Along with me, Joanna and Ann are the biggest Mavs fans in the office.  They don’t want me to watch either.  My friend Dave (a big Lakers fan) totally tried to get me to watch last week.  I didn’t.  Do you need further proof?  I think not.

Now, please know that the Paige Effect does not apply if I am watching the game while in the arena, so if you have a ticket to spare, just call me at 214-624-7557.

I do know that this all sounds crazy and of course the Paige Effect is just superstition.  But I believe it and it is working, so I am not going to start watching now.  I will say that the Paige Effect is really just me attempting to control something over which I really have no control. 

Having no control over something that really matters to us is frustrating.  As a human being – or especially as an American – I want to feel like I can make things happen and make things not happen at will. 

Mostly, I want to make something not happen:  Child Abuse.

Believe me, if I could stop Child Abuse by never watching TV again, I would.  I think that we all would.  Unfortunately, it isn’t that easy to stop abuse, so my Dish Network bill will keep getting paid.  But there is something that we can all do to stop Child Abuse and it has nothing to do with TV.  We have to report it. 

If you suspect Child Abuse in Texas, call 1-800-252-5400, or visit the Texas Department of Family and Protective Services website at www.dfps.state.tx.us  If you are in another state, please call the National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-888-4-A-CHILD.

We can take control back from the abusers.

P.S.  If you want to see a great video featuring adult and teen survivors of childhood abuse and neglect, as well as about your duty to report suspected abuse, please visit www.tyla.org/thelittlevoice.

P.P.S.  GO MAVS!

It turned out alright for Annie, didn't it?

When I got in my car to drive home from work last night, I heard an old song.  I am pretty addicted to the Sirius Satellite Radio Broadway Channel, so I hear showtunes whenever I am in the car.  And just like regular radio, they tend to play the same songs over and over.  But yesterday, I heard one that I hadn't heard for awhile -- "Maybe" from the show Annie.  Here are the lyrics:

Maybe far away
Or maybe real nearby
He may be pouring her coffee
She may be straightning his tie!
Maybe in a house
All hidden by a hill
She's sitting playing piano,
He's sitting paying a bill!

Betcha they're young
Betcha they're smart
Bet they collect things
Like ashtrays, and art!
Betcha they're good --
Why shouldn't they be?
Their one mistake
Was giving up me!

So maybe now it's time,
And maybe when I wake

They'll be there calling me "Baby"
Maybe.

[ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/maybe-lyrics-annie.html ]

I was a big fan of the show 100 years ago when it came out and I loved this song then.  Isn't this how every child feels who was given up?  But things turned out alright for Annie, didn't they?

I want to thank all of you great parents out there who love and honor and protect your children.  And I also want to thank those of you were brave enough to give them up for a better life.

Tips for Being a Good Boss

How can you be a Good Boss? 

Often, I think it is easier to explain how to NOT be a Good Boss.  I think that we have all had a gross boss or two in our lives (I know that I have – sit next to me at the next shindig and I’ll tell you all about her/him/it) and I learned as much about being a Good Boss watching them treat people badly as I have watching a Good Boss shine.  And I am not saying that I am the best boss, either.  I have made mistakes and will continue to do so.  But, IMHO, here are a few tips for becoming a Good Boss:

• Be honest.  Most of the time, your staff can take the truth – give it to them.  Tell them why you made the decision you did or why you are not going to be able to hire another person to do such and such.  Everyone sleeps better at night knowing that they were dealt with in an honest manner – including you.
• Seek diversity in opinion.  I believe that the best way to make a decision is to look at all sides.  Your staff can help you to see that your initial decision isn’t always the best decision.  And keep your door open – everyone feels more comfortable knowing they can have your attention pretty much any time.
• Don’t sweat the small stuff.  In the grand scheme of things, does it really matter if Susie Q calls her mom each afternoon?  If she checks facebook a few times?  A little fun in Susie Q’s day makes Suzie Q a happy employee, plus maybe Susie Q can transition into your Social Media Maven for Moms!
• Don’t sweat the small stuff unless it is driving you ab-so-f’n-lutley crazy.  Finally, someone has to tell the people who use the microwave that they have to clean it.  You are the boss, after all.
• Remember that your staff members are not your friends.  I know that this sounds funny coming from me, as those of you who know me know that I consider some of my co-workers my very best friends.  But a wise CPD board member once told me something that I’ll never forget.  She said, “Paige, your staff members don’t think of you as their friend.  You are their boss.”  Even though I absolutely love all of the staff at Community Partners of Dallas and would fight a circle-saw for every single one of them, I must make decisions that are first and foremost for the best of the abused and neglected kids served by our agency.

What are your tips?